An innocent prayer!

Then, I was 8 years I guess. Me and my kid bro used to freak out after school, and return home before mom came back. It was a rule that we should be seen with our homework books as she came in or else.....

We had a nanny called BABY! Believe me, she was no baby, quite grown-up for her age, anyways that's a different aspect.

Though it was a norm for me and her to have little arguments and fights, it peaked one day. 

We were playing when she suddenly came to me and said she was going to catch the city bus (the last one - which left at 5.00 PM) and I have to go home alone. I was purposely told that because that day, I didn't have my brother or the neighbor kid playing with me and I was super scared to go home alone. I argued that I can't be left alone and would complain to mom but showed no signs of staying back. I had only 15 minutes left. I pleaded yet no result.

Last 10 minutes. The driver had come and was waiting for the people.

Every morning while going to my swimming class, I used to hear the morning Namaz but never paid much attention. At that moment I don't know why I thought of it, maybe because I grew very anxious and wanted to do something to stop her from leaving me alone. I tried to remember the lyrics - I'm a Hindu and I never learnt Urdu so I doubt if whatever prayer that came to my mind, made any sense. 

I kept repeating it with emotion as if my whole life depends on it ( I'm 34 now but I still remember this incident because of its innocence and intensity) and asking God to stop her. (Thinking back-I don't know why I prayed like that). She asked me if I had gone mad and as to why I was uttering something illogical. I told her, I was praying to stop her. She gave a cold small laugh, went, and sat inside the waiting bus.

After 10 minutes or so, the driver yelled that engine broke down and won't leave for the city that day. This was nothing short of a miracle for me. I was shocked beyond belief and sighed relief. 

Suddenly, I felt fearless and went back home alone, leaving her in that broke-down bus.

When she came back, I didn't utter a word but she asked me as to why I walked down alone and complained to mom. Surprisingly, mom didn't scold me and just instructed me to be careful.

Looking back, it was a very small incident but the TRIUMPHANT feeling it gave that day, I can't forget. The genunity of a small child and the innocent prayer whose lyrics don't make sense speak a lot. 

TRUE - A CRIME doesn't instil the FEAR it should unless it gets PERSONAL

I have read many crime stories, seen many, some are downright horrendous but never felt the spine chilling thing. I also have read stories on how a woman is held captive and used only to rape under different circumstances. Like I said, I felt really sad from the bottom of my heart at that moment and forget when I read the next piece of news.

I do not want to go public with the details but YES I have experienced the bad touch when I used to take public transport, then I only felt deep anger but never fear. I actually never felt scared - My grandma used to poke fun at me that I walk like an army officer about to fire at his enemy and I scare boys off :(

But something happened yesterday which showed me what fear is like, what fear is like. I can't believe I'm still getting the chills.

My locality experienced yet another breezy night yesterday. I love walking alone (I wouldn't trade that for anything or anyone in this world) especially at night with no traffic, temperature cooling off, no one looking if I'm in pajamas with no dupatta, no one judging my pace and I don't have to catch up or wait for anybody. Only me and my dream world!

I finished my chores and it was one oçlock in the night. I thought it was the perfect time to be all alone with no sounds except AC humming in different houses. I remembered how stray dogs didn't let me jog the other night in another lane, so I thought I will only have a brisk walk in my lane.

I reached the end of my lane where it joined the main road, wanted to go ahead but then I saw police patrolling and I didn't want to take a chance, I was just thinking for a moment when I saw a white car passing by. Not very good with car brands like my son, I just noticed that its not a regular car, a high-end one. As I turned back, the car also reversed into my lane and kept reversing for 3-4 blocks. I see many drivers/chauffers (you can say) in my lane - high-class folks.
I thought, he must be another driver like them but I did notice that I had never seen him here.

Now, I was walking towards the car as it got parked in front of me, he got off and was staring at me as though he was waiting for me to come. A couple of steps away, I thought, he wanted to ask for some direction but when I got near - I can't forget his face anytime sooner, the menacing look, didn't say a word but said everything with his expression.

I felt a little off the beat and asked if there was any problem. He just chuckled away (I must say, his expression and small laugh will fetch a fortune in a crime thriller), this is when I started feeling a little scared. I did not stop and continued to walk but couldn't help myself looking over my shoulder as every hair follicle on my skin was standing at its end, thinking he might strike me any moment (that's what he conveyed through his expression).

I wanted to go home but then I have to pass him. It is said, we women easily catch the negative vibes sparking from the other gender. I had to turn but I didn't want to experience that vibe again. Somehow, this gutsy woman till yesterday was no more. Disappeared. Spoof!

I chanted all the god names I can think of and walked past him towards my home. As I passed the car, headlights turned on and I jumped back. Mind went blank (no god names, legs didn't move, no voice to say help, just blank staring into headlights.........