My thoughts with Dwaitam and Adwaitam

Being a Brahmin boy, you are bound to come across these terms. There is a high probability that you’ll get confused or entangled with different thoughts. 

I know that I’m nobody to tell you which path to follow but I do want to share my thoughts (I hope they’ll be helpful).

Dvaita or Dwaitam	Advaita or Adwaitam
It is a thought where you think, you and God are different entities	It is where one thinks that God and himself are one entity.
You can be like Anamaya, Ramdas or Meera bai or Prahlad who had utmost trust and were lost in the love of God.	You see God in everyone and everything– yourself, your friends, the chair you are comfortably sitting on, a dog on street, flower in your garden, anything and everything.

Common Ground: Unity in Devotion

Advaita says you and God are the same. Though the great devotees like Prahlad or Meera Bai attained moksha on the path of dvaita, they also saw God in everything.

Remember, when Hiranyakashipu asked Prahlad if his Narayana was in the pillar, and he said yes. Narsimha Swamy did come out of the pillar. 

Meera Bai drank the poisonous potion because she loved Krishna so much that she had utmost trust that nothing wrong would happen to her. 

This trust is like when a baby is flung up in the air by his mother; he doesn’t cry, instead laughs because he knows his mom would catch him and is just playing.

Personal Reflections

There are different incidents from various stories with which I connect. I cannot say that I idolize only one devotee. I’ll talk only of recent people so that my thoughts don’t sound too superficial for you.

One day, Swami Vivekananda went frustrated to Ramakrishna and asked if he has seen God or to let go of his nonsense. To his surprise, Ramakrishna said ‘yes he has seen God’ and Vivekananda can also see if he wants. That was his first experience with Kali Devi.

I want to tell you more stories, but it’s better to read these books – “They Live with God” and “God Lives with Them.” These two books should clear most of your thoughts.

Swami Vivekananda says, “May I be born again and again and suffer thousands of miseries, so I may worship the God and be of service to the needy.” 

He also says, what’s the use of a life that does not live for others? It doesn’t matter if you were too absorbed in yourself to attain moksha.

When people visited his guru Ramakrishna, he always made them first visit the Kali temple and then talk about other things. It was the same case with Ramana Maharshi who always asked people to first do the pradakshina of the Arunachalam hill. 

These gurus were great teachers in Advaita but also practiced Dvaita because only then could they perform various worship rituals for their beloved God and get transfixed by the God’s vision in front of them.

Practical Application: Balancing Philosophy with Action

If you saw somebody hurt or in need, would you be able to think this is all maya, he is actually not hurt and just move on? Or just move away thinking, he is like this because of his past actions from previous birth, what can I do about it?

In the quest of attaining a higher self, I can’t ignore what I can see and feel. I relate more with Bhakti Yoga. I love Ramayana, Ramdas, Hanuman, Swami Vivekananda, Ahalya, Tulsidas, and many more where the story or the incident is not just about attaining moksha.

Conclusion

Dvaitam and Advaitam are two sides of the same coin. Both can give you moksha provided you don’t let the fire of experiencing God die within you.

Key Points to Remember:

Every action has a consequence. Good action, bad action doesn’t make any difference to Karma. It will always give you what you earned at the right time (not the time which you think is right).

Don’t waste your time in learning rules or punishments mentioned in different puranas, especially Garuda Purana. There is a high probability of getting scared of the different rules and punishments; fear can overwhelm all other thoughts.

Everything in life happens for a reason. (99.9% of the times, we do not know the reason; we can only trust that whatever happens, it’s for good.)

Just serving your family cannot be called ‘living for others.’ Had you been very poor and struggling for even two proper meals a day, living only for the family makes sense. Like Sharukh Khan says in 'Chakde' movie - first play for the country, then state, then team and then if you still have life left, you can play for yourself.

Swami Vivekananda says, “Take care of your body because that is the only tool you have which will help you do the right thing at the right time.” ‘Take care’ doesn’t mean sitting for hours in barber shops. No harm in looking good but don’t overdo. Don’t keep thinking of your hair or clothes.

Must Watch - Take care of the faculties first

(problem is that we get lost in taking care of the faculties and make it our primary target)

** this letter is not last on this topic, i hope my thoughts remain logical and practical.

The Scooter Falls

 During a conversation with my manager, I learnt that one of my colleagues and her husband met with a minor accident. Immediately I said that's why I'm super scared to get on a two-wheeler, especially as a pillion. I always fall whenever I ride. She raised an eyebrow and asked, how is it possible for somebody to fall every time they get on a two-wheeler??

The memory of my father and myself as a kid flashed. I could see his disappointed and stern face looking back at me. I got the same hopeless and helpless feeling that I got back then.

I replied to my manager that as a kid, I used to make my father fall most of the time, and I rode with him.

Now that the memory got triggered, I could not get it out of my system for a long time. I just could not avoid my dad's stare. So here I am sharing 31-year-old memory. Please don't judge the characters of the story.

I remember it was a yellow pale chetak. Dad was waiting for me to get on; he had already honked twice. I came running and climbed, but I slipped. Dad also lost his balance when I slipped. He looked at me angrily. I tried again, but this time, instead of using my left leg first, I climbed the small leg support below the pinion seat with my right leg. Now I got confused about how to swing my right leg across. In this confused state of mind, I slipped again, making my dad lose balance. Again he didn't say anything but gave a disappointed and angry look. I got so scared that I made the same mistake. This time, he just drove away without me.

After a few days, we all were going out. I guess I forgot the incident. This time I climbed properly with a minor slip in swinging my right leg, but I sat successfully, followed by my mom. Time passed, but the fear remained.

Now even after marriage, it sounds like a death threat to me if I have to ride as a pinion.

---------------------------------------

Coming back to the present, this story is like a reminder to every parent including me on the various impressions we make on our kids.

An innocent prayer!

Then, I was 8 years I guess. Me and my kid bro used to freak out after school, and return home before mom came back. It was a rule that we should be seen with our homework books as she came in or else.....

We had a nanny called BABY! Believe me, she was no baby, quite grown-up for her age, anyways that's a different aspect.

Though it was a norm for me and her to have little arguments and fights, it peaked one day. 

We were playing when she suddenly came to me and said she was going to catch the city bus (the last one - which left at 5.00 PM) and I have to go home alone. I was purposely told that because that day, I didn't have my brother or the neighbor kid playing with me and I was super scared to go home alone. I argued that I can't be left alone and would complain to mom but showed no signs of staying back. I had only 15 minutes left. I pleaded yet no result.

Last 10 minutes. The driver had come and was waiting for the people.

Every morning while going to my swimming class, I used to hear the morning Namaz but never paid much attention. At that moment I don't know why I thought of it, maybe because I grew very anxious and wanted to do something to stop her from leaving me alone. I tried to remember the lyrics - I'm a Hindu and I never learnt Urdu so I doubt if whatever prayer that came to my mind, made any sense. 

I kept repeating it with emotion as if my whole life depends on it ( I'm 34 now but I still remember this incident because of its innocence and intensity) and asking God to stop her. (Thinking back-I don't know why I prayed like that). She asked me if I had gone mad and as to why I was uttering something illogical. I told her, I was praying to stop her. She gave a cold small laugh, went, and sat inside the waiting bus.

After 10 minutes or so, the driver yelled that engine broke down and won't leave for the city that day. This was nothing short of a miracle for me. I was shocked beyond belief and sighed relief. 

Suddenly, I felt fearless and went back home alone, leaving her in that broke-down bus.

When she came back, I didn't utter a word but she asked me as to why I walked down alone and complained to mom. Surprisingly, mom didn't scold me and just instructed me to be careful.

Looking back, it was a very small incident but the TRIUMPHANT feeling it gave that day, I can't forget. The genunity of a small child and the innocent prayer whose lyrics don't make sense speak a lot. 

TRUE - A CRIME doesn't instil the FEAR it should unless it gets PERSONAL

I have read many crime stories, seen many, some are downright horrendous but never felt the spine chilling thing. I also have read stories on how a woman is held captive and used only to rape under different circumstances. Like I said, I felt really sad from the bottom of my heart at that moment and forget when I read the next piece of news.

I do not want to go public with the details but YES I have experienced the bad touch when I used to take public transport, then I only felt deep anger but never fear. I actually never felt scared - My grandma used to poke fun at me that I walk like an army officer about to fire at his enemy and I scare boys off :(

But something happened yesterday which showed me what fear is like, what fear is like. I can't believe I'm still getting the chills.

My locality experienced yet another breezy night yesterday. I love walking alone (I wouldn't trade that for anything or anyone in this world) especially at night with no traffic, temperature cooling off, no one looking if I'm in pajamas with no dupatta, no one judging my pace and I don't have to catch up or wait for anybody. Only me and my dream world!

I finished my chores and it was one oçlock in the night. I thought it was the perfect time to be all alone with no sounds except AC humming in different houses. I remembered how stray dogs didn't let me jog the other night in another lane, so I thought I will only have a brisk walk in my lane.

I reached the end of my lane where it joined the main road, wanted to go ahead but then I saw police patrolling and I didn't want to take a chance, I was just thinking for a moment when I saw a white car passing by. Not very good with car brands like my son, I just noticed that its not a regular car, a high-end one. As I turned back, the car also reversed into my lane and kept reversing for 3-4 blocks. I see many drivers/chauffers (you can say) in my lane - high-class folks.
I thought, he must be another driver like them but I did notice that I had never seen him here.

Now, I was walking towards the car as it got parked in front of me, he got off and was staring at me as though he was waiting for me to come. A couple of steps away, I thought, he wanted to ask for some direction but when I got near - I can't forget his face anytime sooner, the menacing look, didn't say a word but said everything with his expression.

I felt a little off the beat and asked if there was any problem. He just chuckled away (I must say, his expression and small laugh will fetch a fortune in a crime thriller), this is when I started feeling a little scared. I did not stop and continued to walk but couldn't help myself looking over my shoulder as every hair follicle on my skin was standing at its end, thinking he might strike me any moment (that's what he conveyed through his expression).

I wanted to go home but then I have to pass him. It is said, we women easily catch the negative vibes sparking from the other gender. I had to turn but I didn't want to experience that vibe again. Somehow, this gutsy woman till yesterday was no more. Disappeared. Spoof!

I chanted all the god names I can think of and walked past him towards my home. As I passed the car, headlights turned on and I jumped back. Mind went blank (no god names, legs didn't move, no voice to say help, just blank staring into headlights.........

Fortitude means ..........

A lady draped in neatly ironed white sari with black patterns, her long hair nicely plaited back, was sitting on a sofa upright, with legs crossed, face buried in her hands, deeply distressed, tears pouring out her painful heart, lost in her memories.

The above description would make anybody feel sorry for the lady but I actually ended up admiring her. Only one question kept hammering my thoughts “How can a lady be so dignified / carry herself so upright when grieving on her better half’s demise?”

I have never come across a better example to lead life or to understand what FORTITUDE means ……………

She is my aunt who has recently lost her husband, left with two children. She got retired as AGM of SBH.

I have always admired her patience, dignity, the way she carries herself, her ocean like knowledge, her polished language, her authoritative character from a distance silently.

I had been really selfish when I visited her to pay my tributes to my uncle, I’m not sure if I have wholeheartedly paid tribute to my uncle or not but I have pleaded God to shower some strength on me also to fight life.

My mom tells me that we both have been born with the same star and I ended up inheriting some her qualities.

I seriously doubt the above statement most of the times ……….

Try and outsmart a teacher!!!!

I was always fond of music from the days I could remember. I learnt Hindustani and along with that keyboard at the age of 12 and could play it quite well. I always used to like playing national anthem and our school song on keyboard. I could also play the same on harmonium, seeing which our Music teacher selected me in daily prayer and group songs. Though I had average voice, I was made the key player of the group to play the instrument. I was so proud of myself. I started showing off to my friends.

How did I know that appreciation comes with a responsibility?

In KV, every month end, we have group singing competitions. Our music teacher was heading Ganga House and as she herself was a music teacher for entire school, she could not afford to lose. We knew this rule from the day she joined our school and became head of Ganga House. She was the most strict teacher I happened to see in that school, she just does not take any nonsense from anybody, so generally we don’t even dream of playing pranks or have any excuses with her.

As the days for competition neared by, our practice sessions exponentially increased. Just before the final day, we had the most awful practice sessions ever. And as key instrument player, she wanted me to be just perfect.

We had even skipped our lunch for practicing. It was very tiring, especially for me. One small mistake and we had to repeat the whole song. My mouth was going dry and fingers were often getting stuck by playing so many times. I decided it was time I did some action to save myself from that gruesome practice.

We had a five min break, though my thirst was quenched, I decided to go ahead with my plan. We started singing again but I wasn’t singing, I was only giving a lip movement. For one entire cycle of song, our music teacher couldn’t make out that I wasn’t singing. I felt so happy; I couldn’t help smiling and thought I had outsmart the most strict teacher in the school and came a hard slap on face.

I couldn’t come out of the shock for some time and then I realized what had happened. She didn’t say anything and our practice resumed as usual. I started singing loud enough for her to hear.

We again had a 5 minute break. All friends came to me and asked what had happened. I didn’t tell them anything. I knew everybody would laugh at me so I just acted as I didn’t know the reason as to why she slapped me. They all pitied me and commented badly on her but inside I knew what had happened and why. I felt very bad and decided I would never try to outsmart my teacher again.

Believe in yourself and the world would believe in you!!!

I was in 6^th class ‘B’ section. There always used to be a tiff competition between 6 ‘A’ and 6 ‘B’. 6 ‘B’ always used to outsmart 6 ‘A’ in studies and sports both except GK subject. Not that we were not good in GK but then there was this guy, who used to claim of one man army play in GK competitions, we couldn’t do that, we could beat the other section only as a team.
One day our class teacher announced GK contest, inter section competition. Sparks started flying between both the sections. That guy came to our class and as usual challenged ‘one man army play’ on behalf of his section.
As class monitor, I took the responsibility of facing that guy all by myself. As teacher’s pet and favorite among friends, I had to keep up my image.
With such responsibility on my small shoulders, I went home and started skimming through all newspapers I could get hold of. I wasn’t satisfied, I asked my Dad to prepare me on latest happenings in News. We stayed up quite late and discussed things.
At around one in the morning, before I climbed my bed, dad casually asked me ‘What is Michael Jackson’s real name?”Which was followed by “Where is he from?” I had no answer and having no answer was demoralizing for me for the responsibilities I took.
I had to plead my Dad for the answer, when he gave me, for the 1^st time I thought Dad is out of his mind. It just can’t be possible. He is trying to fool me around. Though he read my mind and told me earnestly to believe in him, I didn’t and obviously it just went of my mind.
Next day everybody were exited and we all were chewing our nails while going through all other classes and imagining the outcome of the challenge (More of a Do or a Die situation for both the sections.) Finally the class teacher came in heading the other section students marched by that one man army guy.
Rules were announced. . No answer – neutral result but the question which went unanswered - plus two, one man army play i.e. one team member would face entire opposite team on behalf of his entire team would get plus 5.
Both the teams started of as team play. Questions flew on science, social, math, English. We were falling behind with 5 points. We were giving a tough fight but could not cover up the margin. Time was running out with everybody sweating.
When the last 5 minutes were announced and we still had 5 points to cover up, I took the risk of playing ‘one man army play’. My team was ready to compromise on losing rather than one man army thing because we had a little philosophy “As team we win, as one we lose”.
Finally my team believed in me and I geared up myself to face that ever winning one man army guy from other team. We were given 3 chances to ask questions. I couldn’t answer two of his questions, my hope went dry, it was my turn to ask questions, first two went answered, with two minutes remaining and last question which would decide the fate of section ‘B’ I was almost about to withdraw . But I still racked my brains for one last question which could beat him, when 50 seconds were announced, I asked “What is Michael Jackson’s real name and where is he from?” The other team started laughing. The ‘guy’ asked me “What do you mean what is his real name, Michael Jackson is his real name”. He started giving out comments on my stupidity, soon comments flew everywhere and class teacher had to pitch in.
Her statement gave us new hope. She said, after hearing the answer if she is convinced she would give in the points. I gave in my trump answer “MICHE JAYKISHAN” and he is from “INDIA”.  Total silence, I thought my own team would roll on floor laughing one me, I just hoped Dad’s answer was right.
Teacher asked me how did i know the answer, i told her Dad told me and she gave in 5 points, and we won!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! My class was like Pratyusha you’ve done it finally. When I was floating in cloud 9, that guy came and congratulated me and pushed me to cloud 10.
I came home running and excitement blasted in my heart to give in the news to my Dad. When he came back from office, before he removed his shoes, I shouted this news and ran to him, He didn’t believe at first  then he cracked his stomach laughing, I felt so bad.
He asked me “Did teacher hear the answer?” I said “she was the one to declare us winner”. He again laughed loud. Mother pitched in, I had to narrate everything. She also laughed and hugged me and told me Dad has played a fool with me. Tears immediately ran out, how he could ever do this to me when it was the most important competition in my life and I had told him the responsibility which I took in.
Then finally he said which I never forgot till date and would never forget.
“The entire class and the class teacher believed in you because you earnestly sincerely believed in yourself or rather in that question and hence it reflected in your eyes, voice and attitude. So always believe in yourself and the world would believe in you!!!”